We have talked about the importance of understanding our own value before but it bares repeating. I frequently encounter business women who wave away praise at their efforts as though what they have accomplished is nothing. I find most women tend to underplay their value. They rarely toot their own horn and often look in the mirror and see “average” looking back instead of the “extraordinary” woman they truly are. We truly are.
I came across an article by Mary Cantando entitled Be Clear About Your Value. She is speaking about our work life, but the same ideas apply to home and our community involvement.
Mary shares this example from her own work experience:
When I was running a multi-location business, I thought of sales, production and service delivery each as a separate box. As I opened a new location, I created each of those boxes and then figured out how to step out of them. Stepping out involved two tasks: first, identifying a key manager to step into each box, and then ensuring that everyone knew I no longer resided in that box. This worked well for my remote locations because I wasn’t physically present most of the time. But in my main location where I had been running things for years, employees bypassed their new managers and continued to come to me for answers and direction. So I decided to move to a home office and run my primary location as though it were a remote office. This unorthodox solution allowed me to use my time appropriately to focus on the big picture, and allowed the managers to maintain ownership of their areas of the business.
Amy Chan gets personal in her article Know Your Worth: Understanding Your Value and Finding Love. She has this to say:
You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with. I know many women who have settled for less, and simply “accepted” cards dealt because deep inside, they don’t believe they deserve more. I’m sure you know of someone who seems to have it all together in their life, but when it come to relationships, they just can’t seem to shake the habit of dating douche bags and douchettes.
Amy goes on to say:
Know your value and don’t accept being treated in a way less than you deserve. Now, I don’t mean to start going out there with unrealistic expectations, demands and a sense of entitlement. I am saying that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others, and vice versa. The minute you negotiate your self worth and accept less, you say to the universe that you don’t deserve any better, and the vicious cycle/pattern begins. Change for yourself and of course, friends and partners are great mirror reflections that help you grow. But don’t change out of the wrong reasons to appease someone or in hopes that they will like you more.
How do you get started? You need to get reacquainted with you! Schedule a date with yourself. Be a little selfish. Take some time to evaluate you and celebrate all you accomplish!
Putting yourself on your calendar is important and should be considered a must-do every week. I’m reminded about a saying I often hear at motivation forums: Put the Big Rocks in the jar first and fill in the pebbles and sand around them. You are a Big Rock.
If you put the pebbles and sand in first, there is no room for the big rocks in the jar. But if you put the big rocks first, there is always room for the pebbles and sand to fill in around the big rocks. So prioritizing your commitments is critical, which means you must treat yourself as a Big Rock.
You are a value to those around you; at work, at home, and in your community. Never forget that!